Breaking Family Division Together

Families are meant to be places of love, support, and unity. Yet, many of us know the pain of division within our own families. No family is perfect, and every family faces moments that call for reconciliation. The Bible warns us that “a house divided will not stand” (Mark 3:25 NKJV), and this truth applies deeply to our homes. Pastor Hery Alonso reminds us that breaking the curse of division requires humility, intentional love, and respect—not resentment or pride.

In this post, we will explore how families can work together to overcome division, drawing on biblical wisdom from Ephesians 4:3 and other scriptures in the New King James Version (NKJV). We will also offer practical steps for fostering reconciliation and unity in your family.

Understanding the Curse of Division in Families

Division in families often starts with small misunderstandings or unresolved conflicts. Over time, these can grow into deep wounds fueled by pride, resentment, or hurt feelings. The Bible shows us that division weakens the family unit and hinders God’s blessings.

Ephesians 4:3 (NKJV) urges us to be “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” This means that unity is not automatic; it requires effort and a commitment to peace. When family members hold onto pride or resentment, they build walls instead of bridges.

Why Pride and Resentment Hurt Families

• Pride makes us unwilling to admit mistakes or seek forgiveness.

• Resentment keeps past hurts alive and blocks healing.

• Both attitudes prevent honest communication and reconciliation.

  
  

The Bible encourages humility as the foundation for healing. Philippians 2:3 (NKJV) says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” Humility opens the door for grace and restoration.

The Role of Humility in Reconciliation

Humility is not weakness; it is strength under control. It allows family members to:

• Admit faults without fear

• Listen without interrupting

• Forgive without holding grudges

  
  

Jesus modeled humility perfectly, even when He was wronged. In Matthew 18:21-22 (NKJV), He teaches us to forgive “seventy times seven” times, showing that forgiveness is ongoing and intentional.

Practical Ways to Practice Humility in Family Relationships

• Apologize sincerely when you have hurt someone.

• Ask for forgiveness without conditions.

• Listen actively to understand, not just to respond.

• Avoid blaming and focus on solutions.

  
  

Intentional Love and Respect: The Glue of Family Unity

Love and respect are not just feelings; they are choices we make daily. Intentional love means acting in ways that build up family members, even when it’s difficult.

Romans 12:10 (NKJV) instructs us to “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.” This verse highlights respect as a key part of love.

How to Show Intentional Love and Respect

• Speak kindly, even in disagreements.

• Celebrate each other’s successes.

• Support each other’s dreams and struggles.

• Spend quality time together regularly.

  
  

Steps to Break the Curse of Division in Your Family

1. Pray Together

   Invite God’s presence to heal wounds and guide conversations.

   
   

2. Create Safe Spaces for Dialogue

   Encourage open and honest communication without judgment.

   
   

3. Set Boundaries for Respectful Interaction

   Agree on how to handle conflicts without insults or yelling.

   
   

4. Seek Mediation if Needed

   Sometimes a trusted pastor or counselor can help facilitate reconciliation.

   
   

5. Commit to Ongoing Unity

   Family unity requires continuous effort, not just one-time fixes.